U2's Bono and DATA

Bono, front man for one of my favorite rock groups, was in town last week discussing issues that are addressed in his organization: DATA - Debt, AIDS, Trade, Africa. Regardless of your political affiliation, I feel that Bono is a great humanitarian and is putting action to his faith. He has been criticized in the past from conservative Christians due to his "colorful" language that slips out on occasion. The last person I knew to be perfect lived over 2000 years ago and died on a cross...

"Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own" - Lyrics by Bono

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me nowI need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...
Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...


If you haven't figured it out, I love music. And not just the music but the lyrics. This song was written by Bono after the death of his father - Bob Hewson. Mr Hewson worked in a post office during the day and sang opera at night. This is why he states, "You're the reason I sing...You're the reason why the opera is in me". This is so profound.

My own father came for a week visit a couple of weeks ago. He is 63 years old and lives in the Midwest. My parent's were divorced and I didn't live with him and my step-mother after the divorce, but at times I wished that I had. I left home at age 18, and joined the military. I married a southern girl, and now live in the south -- far from the rolling plains of the midwest. It seems like Bono and his dad didn't really talk...I mean really talk.....those intimate conversations that fathers and sons need but rarely happen due to male pride or avoiding any real affection for fear of being "unmanly". During our conversations over coffee, I had always thought that he had a close relationship with my grandfather -- his father. I was shocked to hear him say no...he was always closer to my grandmother. Now this is the same man that asked his Dad for professional advice while remodeling our home when growing up (grandpa was a plumber) , and they went on several fishing trips together. However, I found out that these times were more superficial....not intimate.

On his last day before they left my home in their rental car heading to the airport, I gave him a hug. I needed him to know that I did care, even though we are nearly 1000 miles apart. I needed to know that he was proud of me. I did not pursue his career choice. I am a male in a female dominated career field of social work. (No Gaylord Fokker jokes please...rent "Meet the Parents" if you don't know what I am talking about). I had to know if he was proud of me....his approval of me was important. He is my father....I am his son. Would I ever disclose to him about my same-sex struggles and that I was one of those "queers" that he warned me about during "the talk" about sex? I don't know if that will ever be discussed.....I am just satisfied that he is proud of me in my life currently. "You don't have to make it on your own..." You, the reader, may not have the opportunity to make amends to an aging parent. If this is on your "to do" list, I suggest picking up the phone and call them....before it is too late and you have a lifetime of regret. Your feedback about your own father-son relationship is appreciated.